People say love is more than just a feeling, may be it is. It depends upon what your experience and what you have encountered, I guess my experience says love is like a blade that cuts your heart in pieces where you suffer both ways. I guess we all can see and feel it in some point of time, we all have had this experience. May be good or bad, sorry or happiness. It’s something that I like to call as a silent pain killer that not only relieves but when the time comes it kills.
People say heart is like a glass that shatters in pieces and once it scatters into pieces you just feel lost and insane. I’m not being too sarcastic but what the hell when u love someone you give your 200% I means your thinking about that person all the times and that’s what is the problem? Too much of thinking of being in love  push yourself to the limits. The problem starts with thinking, the more you think is the more problems you have. For instance you can relieve yourself from thinking,  just get hold of it. The problem subsides varying to conditions or situations. It’s like love makes you think and that’s what creates problem. Apart from that you splurge your imagination with beautiful dreams and hopes making that person your ultimate passion. That person literally becomes your addiction and your done. True love with addiction is hard than any alcohol or drugs and now I know why people give their lives when they have a break up or separation. It’s hard to contemplate but reality is when a person’s heart breaks, all hell comes loose on him or her and that poor soul has nothing except to pity himself and to limit himself with the past feeling that just cocoons him. He Slowly slips in the shadows, deactivating his abilities and he then depresses  more and more. and then there is no answer except death.  Death on contrary is a simple solution with no cross results but wait why to die for a person you rarely matter. You just have to use your logic and bloody hell you can be out of the situation.
I have a solution 4 step methods ask yourself why when, what and for whom?  Think if you are in a situation of love, you will have your answer. The problem is not with the questions or thinking the problem is with the so called definition that you build. These definitions make you weak and vulnerable. Every time your definition is being challenged with reality you shallow towards depths of depression. Just make yourself believe life is real than those romantic dreams that are glossy and enchanting  coz reality is bitter and its not like a song, its full of drama and actions.
Make yourself believe that it won’t work that way and you will be happy. Here is a brief encounter of how we all make that mistake. Amir my friend shared me his experience he said, I saw and met her in a coincidence where I always believed our meet to be a played by word of destiny. I always thought maybe I had a purpose in her life, may be a role to play and I guess it was a role where I played my part and today I feel emptied and drained because of myself as I loved her so much.
I have always wondered why woman criticize men for being stiff, insensitive and being a role model for cheating. I always though may be it is human nature to shift their emotional bonding when they feel restrained and they look for other options. I say human instinct that as soon as thing happens you leave the situation or get distracted. I being a Man with high testosterol level and ego tries his best to understand and work out  but I guess the partner  was someone who thought Amir was not worth her. May be he lacked to make her understand what he felt for her but she was in vain of her past and present. She overshadowed his feeling and trashed him to the possibility.
Still  after  break up walking down the lane is not easy for him and every time it rains he says he can feel the tears that rolled out in memories of those words that she threw at him. And he tried to get wet but with every drop of rain it pinched him saying he is empty and alone. he just wanted to hate himself for loving her so much that he sidelined his pride, dignity and everything and still she could not understand him.
Love is not blind lovers make it  blind from every possibility from every angle. With this story my eyes are open  but I kept my eyes closed and I think  the colors would be there whether you open or close your eyes. Its the way you see the world and it matters than others definition. I said to myself stop living with others definitions but in reality to see the colors you have to open your eyes. It never mattered for me but now it does as I have learnt my lesson. Now when I think about  time and situation, I say time is a healer. Now I know I have a definition of love. We have to look at the bigger picture and walk alone with just the motive to make it work rather than to search for more……….
By Shreedeep Rayamajhi
